One Good Story

As a mother you get experiences that feel absolutely infuriating and embarrassing in the moment but later become memories that will forever be hysterically funny. I had just such a moment this past week that I will share with you now for your laughing pleasure too, but feel free to feel sympathy for me as well because it truly was awful.

A couple days ago we all awoke early and I sickly pulled myself from my bed (remember I'm pregnant) and threw a robe on to get the family some breakfast. After we ate together we kissed daddy goodbye and I immediately dragged myself upstairs to retrieve the laundry from the girl's room. It was approximately 7:00 am at this point. The girls followed me into their room giggling and laughing and shut the door behind them. I didn't think much of it as I continued to gather dirty laundry from around the room. As I walked to the door to leave Little Miss calls out, "Mom, I locked it." My heart stopped. You see, for time out purposes the lock is on the outside of the door. Little Miss had in fact turned the lock before walking in and shut the door to lock us all in the room.

Let me paint a picture for you. The girls and I are locked in a room on the top floor of the house, with no one home to unlock it, no phone, no clothes for me, no food, no water, no BATHROOM, and not even a clock to keep track of the space of time gone by.

I instantly begin searching for any way to pick the lock. Of course the day before I had cleaned out all the stray bobby pins from their room and put them away. But, I continued to search the carpet on my hands and knees just hoping that I had missed one somewhere. No luck. I finally found a thin-tailed comb, but to no avail it was just too thick. I was starting to get desperate. I found a pen and literally destroyed the thing trying to make it fit and when I did get it to fit it was just to flimsy and broke on me in the process.

At this point I gave up. I started accepting the fact that we just might be stuck in that room for 10 hours until Adam came home. I tried to make the best of the situation by playing with the girls and finding creative ways to occupy the time. I was being pretty optimistic about it all until it hit me how much I needed to go to the bathroom. Let me remind you again, I'm pregnant, holding for 10 hours is not an option. Holding it for one hour is not an option. I became panicky and started trying to think of any way to keep that dang door open. I tried breaking the handle, I tried ripping things apart in the girls room to use as a means to card the door, and nothing was working. And then Little Miss started complaining how bad she needed to go to the bathroom too. At this point I tried opening the window to see if we could see anyone outside to help us, and nothing was working. So finally we made a solution to the current problem. I won't go into details, but I will allow you to use your imagination on what you would do. I only include this part of the story because it gives you an idea of just how awful this situation was.

We continued to find ways to entertain ourselves and when the girls began to get hungry I had to just keep reminding them that mommy could not do anything about it and that they would have to wait until dinner when daddy got home. Missy cried a lot at this point and I felt like I was going looney without a way to know how long we had been in there.

I had said many silent prayers myself but at this point decided that we should say a prayer together. Each of us took a turn saying a prayer asking for help to get out. No joke, I stood up and looked at the window and there was a runner across the street. So I yelled like a mad woman for her to stop. She had ear phones on and I was so afraid she wasn't going to hear me, but eventually she stopped looked around until she saw me. I asked her if she had a cell phone and she did not and she went to run on and I panicky screamed, "No, you can't leave! You don't understand, we are stuck and locked up here. Please, I beg you, run next door and get my neighbor!" Luckily, both the husband and the wife were home!

So they came over with a ladder and the husband was able to climb in and screw the handle of the door and we were set free! I was so excited to be out of there that I didn't even have to time to feel embarrassed about the fact that I was dressed in nothing but a robe.

We were locked in that room for 3 1/2 hours and it felt like an eternity! I can't even imagine if we would have had to stay in there for the entire 10.

All in all, it makes for a good story eh?

For the Ladies

It's rare that I post journal-like entries as this one, because I don't like to get too personal on my blog for it to float out in cyberspace, but today I'm making an exception.

So, I had a massive break down this weekend over the pressures and hardships of being a stay at home mom. After a weekend of being a complete jerk to my family and being completely self-consumed, I finally decided that I needed to have a long talk with my husband about what I was feeling, and I'm going to share some of that now.

I love my life, I love my children, I love my husband, and I love being a stay at home mom. I would never in a million years do it different. Lets just be clear about that from the get go. But, just because I love all these, doesn't mean that there isn't any negative to all the positive.

I have been watching my husband the last few months become pretty successful. I watch him leave happy in the morning and return happy and it's fabulous and amazing and I'm so happy for him. I have repeatedly met coworkers of his and they are all incredible people and they all praise my husband up and down; which they should because he is amazing, and I stand by his side and feel proud that he's mine. But that doesn't mean that there isn't this slightly selfish woman deep inside that feels extremely jealous of it all.

I use to work, I remember what it was like and frankly I'm going to toot my own horn: I was (*&^ good employee. I remember what it was like to be praised and admired and have a boss freak out at the possibility of me leaving. It's an incredible feeling! I don't stay home because I'm incompetent in the work field. I stay home because that's where I feel I belong and it's where I feel I need to be, and it is where I ultimately WANT to be. But again, that doesn't mean there isn't a small part of me that misses what it was like when I wasn't home.

Being a mother is a thankless job. I can reassure you that my children don't go around my house praising the job I'm doing. Occasionally I do hear, "Mom! Did you wash my elephant jammies!? Oh, thank you!" And my heart soars, but most the time I hear, "It's okay Mom that I just spilled my juice. You can clean it up." Or, "RAR! I want to be a grumpy grump! And I want to break things and hit you!" And my heart does not soar at such proclamations.

I've also been extremely jealous of my husband lately too because he just leaves when he wants to leave. This place is home to him and he comes and goes when he wants/needs. I feel I can't just leave whenever, not without making complicated arrangements and I don't ever just "go home." Home is a work place as much as it is a home. I walk in the door and see toys, dishes, a carpet craving a good vacuuming, dust, laundry and ultimately work. It doesn't end, ever, and sometimes it just wares a little on me.

So after a long cry and talk with my husband, he and I have decided that a few things. First, I need out more. At first my husband suggestion that maybe I should get a job to fulfill this need. The problem is, that doesn't solve the problem that I still have a full time job here. That's just adding work on top of work. And as I stated earlier, I may have a want to be working but my want to stay home over rides that first want. But it doesn't change the slight negative that comes from the positive.

So my sweet husband is good to let me have one night a week to myself where I can leave and do whatever I want for as long as I want. We just need to be a little more consistent with it since the holidays I haven't gone out once. Which I'm sure the lack of time to myself was a huge contributor to my break down. But more than that we realized, that I need friends. I realize that sounds lame. But I watch him socialize and interact with people all day, and then he even gets to go to play basketball one to two times a week with friends. I don't have that. I SOMETIMES get a playdate with another mom but it's dictated by all the children's schedules and more than half the time canceled due to their runny noses and coughs. And even when it does actually pan out, I spend more time breaking up fights, feeding faces, and cleaning up after them than I do just talking with another adult.

My husband and I came to the conclusion that I need more girls night outs. It's hard for me, because I feel guilty when I go on girls nights. I love it, but I usually spend money and I feel like I'm deserting my responsibilities and sometimes the guilt is so extreme that it makes me feel like I'm breaking parole. But again, my sweet husband conveyed to me that he doesn't want me to feel like I'm shackled to my house and that I can't just leave him to be a parent, not a babysitter, a parent. So I'm going to do it. Once a week I'm going to take my night out to myself, but I am going to make sure that I have lined up once maybe twice (heaven forbid) a MONTH a girls night with friend.

So ladies...which of you would enjoy a girls night? I want to get things on my calendar, so that it's set in stone and I won't neglect my personal needs anymore.

Missisms

I haven't made a post of funny things my girls say in awhile. So here are the latest. And now that Missy (Baby Girl) is two, she has her own list as well.

Missy's (Baby Girl):

• Missy thinks that every baby figure on the changing tables in public restrooms are "baby Jesus."

• During the sacrament prayers Missy will whisper in my ear over and over, "Jesus' body. Jesus' blood....."

• Missy pointing to Hagrid (from Harry Potter): It's Jesus!
  

• Missy: Little Miss is being a grumpy grump. (Looking at the Nativity) Mary, you being a grumpy grump? No. Jesus, you being a grumpy grump? No. Joseph, you being a grumpy grump? No. Just Little Miss being a grumpy grump. (do we have a reoccurring theme here?)

• Adam's dad has a very old dog named Vinnie. Vinnie has many seizures because he's getting old. Once when we were over at the house Vinnie had a seizure and I said, "Oh, Vinnie's getting old." Missy asks, "Vinnie's two?" I guess to a one year old (at the time) two is old.

• I was talking about my bad day at the dinner table and said something to the effect of "being at my wits end." Adam then replies in the voice of Iago (the parrot from Aladdin), "Ah, Wits end!" Then Missy pipes in with the same voice, "Why am I not surprised?!" (If you know the show Aladdin at all...it's funny)

• Probably inappropriate, but I think it's funny. If any of us in the family passes gas, Missy will shout, "Excuse me!"
  

• Missy pointing to Brian David Mitchell in the newspaper: It's Santa Claus!

Little Miss:

• Every once in awhile with Little Miss gets excited, instead of shouting, "Yea!" She will shout, "Hosanna!"

• Me: Man, I'm pooped. Little Miss: You pooped on the ground!?

• Little Miss singing: Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet. He doesn't know!

• Me: You can do that on Tuesday. Little Miss: No, I'll do it on Threes-day!

• Probably inappropriate...Little Miss was passing gas consecutively and yelled, "It's like fireworks out of my bum!"
  

• Little Miss: Ugh! Mom, my batteries died! Just like your grandpa died!

• For a long time every time Little Miss wanted something and Adam and I would tell her no, she would argue with, "But the sign says I can do it!" Apparently there was some invisible sign that over-ruled everything mom and dad said.

• She wanted to get my Turbo Cranium game down from the shelf. Me: No, you can't play that. Only mommies and daddies play that game. Little Miss: Can I just pretend to be a mommy or a daddy today and play the game?

• Little Miss singing: All I want for Christmas is my two brushed teeth! (instead of "two front teeth")